A structured recovery guide for commitment, reflection, Step work,
emotional awareness, family history, willingness, surrender, and healing.
Group Note:
This page is designed as a clean study and reflection guide for recovery groups.
Members are encouraged to share from personal experience, practice mindful listening,
and honor emotional safety within the group.
7th Tradition
Group Series Donation
In keeping with CoDA’s 7th Tradition, this group is fully self-supporting.
While there are no dues or fees, we do have expenses, and contributions are appreciated.
A one-time suggested donation of $20 is welcome for this series.
If you’re unable to give, please keep coming back — your presence matters more than your contribution.
What was my image of a Higher Power before I came to CoDA?
How can I find my Higher Power?
What attributes does my Higher Power have?
How do these attributes support me?
How did my grandiosity and obsessive controlling manifest in my life?
Intention:
To create a safe, personal, non-dogmatic understanding of Higher Power and healing.
Step 3: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.”
Week 7 Theme: Turning Over Will, Life, and Outcomes
Week 7 – Step Three: Decision, Trust & Letting Go
Focus Questions
What does “made a decision” mean to me?
What does “as we understood God” mean to me?
What does “to the care of God” mean to me?
What does “turning it over” mean to me?
Is this where I let go of results?
How does letting go of results help me work this Step?
How can I be in touch with my Higher Power’s will for me?
In what ways does my Higher Power speak to me?
What does “my will and my life” mean to me?
If I cannot trust myself, how can I trust my Higher Power? How do I practice trusting?
Intention:
To anchor Step Three as a daily practice, not a one-time decision.
Power of Eight Group
Steps Four, Five & Six
Overview
The Power of Eight group focuses on reviewing Steps 4, 5, and 6.
The purpose is to increase awareness of belief systems, CoDA patterns,
family dynamics, emotional wounds, and how behavior may impact relationships.
Because this work can be emotionally triggering, participants are encouraged
to have a support system in place and are recommended to have completed the
first three Steps before joining.
1. Family Secrets Inventory
Identify hidden or unspoken family dynamics that may have influenced beliefs,
behaviors, emotional responses, and coping mechanisms.
Addiction
Alcoholism
Depression
Suicide
Physical abuse
Gambling
Mental illness
Workaholism
OCD behavior
Sexual abuse
2. Family History Background
Explore generational influences from the maternal and paternal sides of the family.
Reflect on personality, values, coping mechanisms, communication styles,
mental health, traditions, and beliefs about love, success, and self-worth.
3. Belief System Exercise
Rate your connection to values and beliefs such as education, work, spirituality,
family time, money, honesty, health, compassion, integrity, courage, fairness,
and generosity.
4. Hurt List Exercise
Create four columns:
Hurt List
Towards Whom?
Thoughts
Feelings
Letter to the Person Who Harmed Me
Dear [Name],
I’m writing this letter not for you, but for me — to give voice to the pain
I’ve carried and to begin releasing the hold it has had on me.
You hurt me when [describe the situation clearly and honestly].
Your actions left me feeling [name the emotions].
I don’t write this to excuse what happened. I write this to take my power back.
I am choosing to heal, grow, and release the pain that has kept me tied to the past.
With honesty,
[Your Name]
Letter to Someone You’ve Harmed
Dear [Name],
I am writing this letter as part of my healing process through recovery.
I want to acknowledge the ways my behavior may have affected you.
I am learning to take responsibility for my part while also honoring the truth
of my experience. I see where fear, control, avoidance, or people-pleasing may
have shaped my actions.
This letter is not about blame. It is about honesty, release, accountability,
and healing.
With honesty and care,
[Your Name]
Letter to My Inner Child
Dear [Inner Child’s Name or “My Little One”],
I see you now. I know you have been carrying pain, fear, confusion, and sadness.
You do not have to carry those burdens alone anymore.
You are enough. You always have been. You did not have to be perfect to be loved.
You did not have to earn your worth.
From now on, I promise to listen to you, protect you, and care for you with compassion.
You are safe with me now.
With all my heart,
[Your Name]
Week 8 Theme: Money List
Week 8 – Money Reflection
List the spoken and unspoken money rules in your family.
List your earliest memories of money.
List your money fears today.
List how money has impacted your relationships.
List the ways you use money to feel safe, in control, or avoid emotions.
Thoughts & Feelings
What emotions are attached to money for you?
What recurring thoughts or fears about money still guide your choices?
What strengths or struggles did you notice in her life?
How might her values or coping mechanisms show up in your family today?
Did you inherit any beliefs about love, success, or worth from her?
Writing Exercise:
Journal on patterns of addiction, mental health, and communication that may trace back to her.
Week 10 Theme: Roles, Relationships, and Family Systems
Week 10 – Maternal Grandfather & Extended Maternal Family
Guided Reflection Questions
How did the men on your maternal side express or suppress emotions?
What family traditions or coping strategies came from this side?
Did you experience acceptance, criticism, or silence from these relatives?
Writing Exercise:
Identify communication styles and beliefs about family roles passed down through your maternal line.
Week 11 Theme: Nurturing, Values, and Emotional Legacy
Week 11 – Paternal Grandmother
Guided Reflection Questions
What family values or traditions do you trace to her?
Did she model healthy or unhealthy ways of coping?
How might her influence show up in your own patterns today?
Writing Exercise:
Explore inherited beliefs about love, success, and identity from your paternal grandmother.
Week 12 Theme: Patterns, Impact, and Breaking Cycles
Week 12 – Paternal Grandfather & Integration
Guided Reflection Questions
What repeating patterns do you see across both maternal and paternal sides?
How have these patterns shaped your beliefs, choices, and relationships?
What cycles would you like to break for your own healing?
Writing Exercise:
Create a short letter to yourself acknowledging the family patterns you’ve identified and affirming your choice to move forward differently.
Serenity 7 Group
Steps Seven & Eight
CoDA Step 7 Introduction
“Humbly asked our Higher Power to remove our shortcomings.”
Step 7 invites us into a deeper level of humility, surrender, and trust.
It is a shift from awareness and acceptance into willingness — becoming ready
to release what no longer serves us.
Core Principles
Humility: Seeing ourselves clearly with honesty and compassion.
Surrender: Letting go of the need to control the healing process.
Trust & Faith: Believing that our Higher Power can support our growth.
7th Step Prayer:
In this moment, I am entirely ready to be freed of all my shortcomings.
I surrender these defects of character to my Higher Power, trusting in the power
of willingness to heal. Each step I take in my recovery — no matter how small —
is an affirmation of my wholeness.
Suggested Tools for Step 7
Mindful breathing
Journaling triggers, thoughts, and feelings
Tapping or EFT
CoDA affirmations
Prayer and connection
Prayer Examples
For Overwhelm:
Higher Power, I feel overwhelmed with grief and sadness.
Please guide me and remind me that I am held in your care.
For Anxiety:
Higher Power, I am feeling anxious and unsettled.
Help me find peace in your presence and release my need for control.
For Loneliness:
Higher Power, I feel alone right now.
Remind me that I am never truly alone.
For Forgiveness:
Higher Power, I am struggling to forgive.
Help me release anger and resentment, and replace them with compassion.
For Fear:
Higher Power, fear has taken hold of me.
Help me find courage and trust in your guidance.
CoDA Step 8 Introduction
“Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
Step 8 is a bridge between awareness and action. After recognizing our patterns
and shortcomings, we begin to take responsibility for how our behaviors have
impacted others.
Core Principles
Accountability: Taking responsibility without minimizing or justifying.
Willingness: Opening our hearts and preparing for repair.
Compassion & Balance: Practicing honesty without self-condemnation.
Step 8 Prayer:
Higher Power, grant me the willingness to see the truth of my actions.
Help me recognize those I have harmed with honesty and compassion.
Remove my fear, pride, and resistance, so I may become willing to make things right.
Optional Reflection Questions
Who have I harmed through my actions, words, or inaction?
In what ways have I harmed myself?
What patterns contributed to this harm?
What emotions arise when I think about making amends?
Where do I feel resistance, and what might be underneath it?
Week 1
Step 7 – Humility & Willingness
Where do I struggle to admit I need help?
What does humility mean to me?
What fears come up when letting go of control?
Week 2
Step 7 – Surrender & Control
What am I trying to control?
What would surrender look like?
When have I felt peace letting go?
Week 3
Step 7 – Shortcomings
What patterns am I ready to release?
How do I react when flaws are revealed?
Can I meet myself with compassion?
Week 4
Step 7 – Trust & Fear
What fears arise with change?
Where do I struggle to trust?
How can I be gentler with myself?
Week 5
Step 8 – Awareness of Harm
Who have I harmed?
How have I harmed myself?
What emotions arise?
Week 6
Step 8 – Patterns & Willingness
What patterns contributed to harm?
Where do I feel resistance?
What does willingness look like?
Week 7
Step 8 – Shame & Readiness
What shame am I holding?
What would self-forgiveness feel like?
Am I willing to make things right?
Closing Intention
Recovery is not about perfection. It is about willingness, awareness,
honesty, compassion, and the courage to keep returning to ourselves.